Not again

Depression – it’s back

I can feel it sapping all the strength out of my body

I hurt everywhere

I want to go outside and play in the dirt

I want to call up Tonya or Barb or Loretta or any friend and go hang out

I want to get some dinner

I will do none of these because I’ll have to get up off the couch

I’m so tired of bring depressed

I don’t take the medication because it’s too much hassle for too little chance of it working

I feel like a looser because I don’t take it

I feel like a failure because I know I need it

Why can’t I just be me again?

Why is everything so hard?

I spend money I don’t have so I can feel excited for just a moment about a plan

I have no plans for the future

No hopes

No dreams

No goals

No energy to make any

How am I ever going to break out of the debit I cause my family?

The financial debt

The emotional debt

The spiritual debt

I want to be with them but they don’t want to be with me

I’m no fun anymore

I’m not even willing to try to be

I’m so incredibly blessed so why don’t I act it?

I hate being me

I hate that I can’t be me anymore

I don’t remember how